Through The Long Night
by Becks Rylynn
Summary: Tell me you love me. AU. A tragedy forces a marriage apart and causes a small girl to stop believing. Crellie, futurefic.


AN: Now, I don't watch Degrassi all the time, but from what I saw, Craig and Ellie were meant to be. This story was written a long time ago and was a request from a friend of mine, but I never got to post it. So, here it is...finally.

Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi: The Next Generation or any of the characters, or the song Breathe Me by Sia. However, I do own Zoe.

THROUGH THE LONG NIGHT

It was raining that day. It was raining when he sat at his desk, trying to write. It was raining when she called and sobbed to him about how something was wrong. It was raining when Paige took the phone away and calmly told him something was wrong and for him to get to the hospital, now. It was raining when he drove there. It was raining when he ran into the room and took her into his arms. It was raining when the doctor told her she had lost the baby.

She didn't move at all. When Marco brought Zoe to visit, she didn't move, or smile, or do much of anything, except stare at the window. At the rain.

Zoe had cried. When he told her, she had cried, her little tiny frame wracking with sobs. Paige had cried. Marco had cried. But she didn't. And she was the only one that really mattered.

When she was released, he had to carry her out of the hospital and to the car. She wrapped her arms around his neck, but she didn't cry. When he had laid her on the bed, she hadn't cried, or moved at all really.

Zoe had crept into the room, tentativly laying beside her mother. When Zoe did that, she had moved. She wrapped one arm around Zoe and stroked her hair. He had laid next to her and she had leaned into him.

Paige had carefully crept into the room and shut the door.

The family had fallen asleep, in the same position.

But she still didn't cry.

--00--

And then he had woken up to Paige shaking him awake, looking panicked.

''What?'' He had snapped quietly, not to wake Zoe.

''She's gone.''

That was all he needed to hear. He was out the door before he could even put on a jacket.

He had found her in the rain. By the lake, that was near their house. She was sitting there, her knees up to her chest, and she was crying. Even though she was crying and he couldn't tell the difference between the rain and the tears, she was still beautiful to him.

''Damn it, Ellie,'' he had snapped, grabbing her arms roughly and pulling her to her feet. ''You're going to kill yourself.''

''I don't care.'' She wrenched out of his grasp. ''It doesn't matter. I'm already dead inside.''

Those words had chilled him to the bone and he pulled her to him roughly. ''Don't ever say that again!'' With every word, he shook her, maybe that would make it sink in.

''You don't know!'' She had screamed, unwanted sobs escaping her lips. ''You don't know what's it like to feel empty inside. You can't feel this...this..ache, and, and I..'' She broke off in a sob. ''I don't know what to do.'' She grabbed his shirt. ''Tell me what to do, please, Craig, I can't handle feeling like this, I can't, I can't.''

He had taken her into his arms, kissing her on the head, as she sunk to the ground, taking him with her. ''I can't tell you what to do.''

''Tell me you love me.''

''I love you, you know I do.''

She looked up at him, and something dangerous had flashed in her eyes. The next thing he knew, he had pulled her up and had his lips on hers. She had responded just as feverishly as him, both wanting to feel...something, other then the constant pain they were in. Other then, the ache in their chests that would never go away. They wanted to feel happiness.

They didn't.

--00--

Two days later he had found her packing her bags.

''What are you doing?''

She had paused and looked up. ''I'm going to stay with Marco for a few days.''

''Why?'' He moved closer and she moved farther away.

''I can't do this.'' She closed her eyes. ''I can't keep pretending like everything is okay, because it's not.''

''What are you saying?'' He remembered the unwelcome sense of panic settle in his chest. He couldn't lose her. He just...couldn't.

''I'm saying I think we both need some time. We should seperate for awhile. I can get an apartment for me, and um, can you, can you maybe keep Zoe here?''

He had touched her face gently. ''Don't do this, Elle. I can't lose you again.''

She had leaned in, touching his face and kissed him, her tears soaking into his skin.

''So this is it?'' He asked, when she pulled away and leaned her forehead on his. ''This is goodbye?''

She shook her head, with a sniffle. ''Not goodbye. Not forever.'' With that she had grabbed her bag and left.

And this is where he is now, on the bed, his head in his hands, wondering why he's not going after her.

''Daddy?''

He looks up sharply. ''Zoe, honey, go back to bed.''

''Why did Mommy say goodbye to me? Is she leaving us?''

He resists the urge to chuckle bitterly, instead settling for a sigh. ''Honey - ''

''Daddy!'' Her crimson hair flew around her as she runs to him and wraps her tiny arms around his neck. ''You can't let her go. They never let them go.''

''What do you mean, Red?''

''The hero. In the movies, or the stories, they never let the girl go.''

''I'm not a hero, Zo.''

She buries her face in his neck. ''You're Mommy's hero. And you're mine too.''

He smiles at that. ''You really think so?''

She hops off his lap. ''I think I need to go to bed.''

Zoe Manning was wise beyond her years, that much was true. But in the end, she was just a little girl who still believed in Santa Claus and Fairytales. But maybe...sometimes...fairytales come true.

He leapt up, running for the door, nearly ripping it off it's hinges and stepping out into the rain. ''Ellie!''

She turns, gasping slightly. ''Craig, what are you - ''

''Don't go!'' He begs. ''Please, don't go.''

She sends the impatient cabbie an apologetic frown as he pulls her to him. ''Craige, please don't do this.''

''Stay.'' He grabs her hands, absentmindly, rubbing circles with his thumb. ''Please stay, I need you.''

''I-I can't.'' She tries to pull away.

''What about Zoe?'' He knows it's low, using their daughter as a bargaining chip, but at this point, he's beyond all reason.

''I just need some time to myself, Craig, you'll look after Zoe, I know you will.'' She turns to go, but he's not letting go that fast.

''Ellie,'' he says firmly, ''if you go, there might be nothing to come back to.''

Her eyes narrow and she wrenches her hand out of his grasp. ''Fine. Screw you, Craig.''

But before he can let her go, he grabs her and kisses her roughly. She protests and squirms, but he keeps his lips on hers and despite her protesting, she's kissing him back. He pulls away. ''Tell me there's nothing in that kiss.''

She glares at him, but it's not as hard as it was. ''Tell Zoe I love her.'' She turns to go, but pauses and says, without looking over her shoulder, the rain dripping down her face and chin, ''I love you.'' She get's in the cab and doesn't look back.

He doesn't go inside, instead shoves his hands into his pockets and looks up at the sky, willing his own tears to go away. ''I love you, too.''

And from a window on the second floor, with tears glistening in her eyes, a small girl sings to herself a song her mother used to sing,

_''Be my friend,_

_Hold me_

_Wrap me up_

_Unfold me_

_I am small_

_I'm needy_

_Warm me up..._

_...And breathe me.''_

And at that moment, little Zoe Manning...stops believing in fairytales.

_**the end**_

AN: Well, that was depressing...I hope you enjoyed it. Reviews make me smile!

Kisses, Becks!!


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